Iranian Men, Cher Megamixes & Pushy Sales Assistants

Well the weekend is all a bit of a blur! On Friday I met with the volunteer rep and registered my details - so waiting on a call this week to see if I can get something. I planned a quiet evening in with my book until my camp landlord [remember, Edna from the Incredibles] asked me out for a drink - I wasn't going to refuse! I spent a good three hours listening to how he's in love with his Iranian friend who has a girlfriend but of course he's 'straight' even though they sometimes sleep in the same bed together and the Iranian guy tells him what to wear and who he can go out with and how much he loves him as a friend etc. - I told him to go watch 'Not Without My Daughter' [if you've seen it you'll know what I mean] before he plans any trips to Iran in the near future! Made me appreciate how lucky I am growing up in a tolerant and modern country.

They shouldn't be allowed to open clubs at 6am and run them until 1pm - it's not good for an Irish guy who is used to being told to go home at 2.30am! So after a long night of drinking with Will the landlord I ended up in some after party club [I could only manage untul 9am] where most ppl were on every drug I had ever heard of, and a few I hadn't! 'G' anyone??? Half of them were also topless with the stereotypical Home & Away type body and then some! Got talking to a few lads who were just on alcohol though and made a few new mates. Happy days. Have to say everyone is very friendly over here - as soon as they hear you're from Ireland they want to hear all about it and hear me say 'To be sure to be sure'. We don't say that! One girl demanded I take her number and offered me a place to stay in the Blue Mountains if I go to visit. I had only met her 10 minutes previously and could have been a murderer for all she knew. Very kind though.

Saturday I just died all day but ended up out again as I had to meet my Ozi mate Andrew and his friends. Good night had in a club called Palms, which had the cheesiest music I have ever heard and remember I've been on a few Eurovision holidays - a 15 minute Cher Megamix got played twice! After a few drinks I admit it, I loved it. Haha. The crowd were mostly 40+ but was a nice change from the previous night. Nobody gave a crap and it was just fun.

Sunday was a complete write off but today I headed out to Rhodes to meet one of my mates - had lunch there and then went to a big shopping centre nearby. Some of you may know this story as I posted it briefly on FB (far more detail here mind), but I had a funny incident in one of the clothes shop. Walked in and it was completely empty which I never like as all eyes are on you. There were two women at the counter and immediately they started shouting over at me to make conversation. I hate when shop assistants do this. Just leave me alone and let me browse! But no, they had to come over and help me hand pick items to try on. The problem was, most of it was very country and western (think Cotton Eye Joe) which is not me at all [Barry if you're reading this, you would have loved it all though!].

So in I go to the changing room and realise there is no feckin mirror there. THE annoyance! Which means I'll have to put on the clothes and then go back out in front of them. When I shouted out about the mirror to see if they might change my room, the pushy sales woman simply replied 'Well honey we don't put them in there as we need to advise you on how you look'. Eh no that's not how it works! So out I come in my first outfit and of course I had a huge 'That looks AMAZING. WONDERFUL. FABULOUS'. etc. I looked like a hillbilly. Now I'm thinking, they are never going to let me leave without a purchese and the cheapest item is 100 dollars. Not paying that! 'I really like this one so I'm just going to go to the ATM and get money for it and I'll be right back in a minute'. That will get me out surely. 'No problem', she says. 'The ATM is just around the corner - seeing as you're new here I will walk you to it'.

Noooo!! Why?? Is the shop about to close if they don't make a sale today? That's what it felt like. So out we walk together and she goes 3/4s of the way and waits and watches while I load my card. I pretend to take money out and think to myself, it's now or never. I look around and she had turned her head. Feck it time to run! So off I ran as fast as I could down the opposite end of the shopping mall. It must have looked rediculous to everyone else - maybe people thought I had just robbed the bank.

When I got to the other end, I realised I couldn't get out that way and had to go back past the shop. Noooo! What if they see me? So I wait 10 mins and creep back slowly. There's a lift across the way from the shop so I don't have to pass it by - as soon as it opened I ran straight for it, didn't look back and hit the highest floor button. Phew.

Ok that's my anecdote for today. Going to a Sushi Train restaurant tonight with some friends - dreading it. 'Is there one with chicken??'...